Sunday, July 13, 2003 song: vanessa carlton - thousand miles
guess it's been a while. i just wanted to start this again because i cant stand not....i dont know...expressing more. oh well, im back here, so that sort of tells you something...maybe not.
first off, i just feel so restricted lately. i get a hunch it's because i haven't had the time to just sit down and express them. i thought i was so expressive in my pieces (i.e. subprofile/profile/journal) last year. well, i had a subprofile that i didnt update for a while. when i look back, it didnt look as if i expressed a lot of things too. so i was basically the same in a sense. only i had much more time to sit down and say the things i wanted to say.
right now i feel sort of tired out from that long walk i took. i felt really disinterested in the stuff i saw although i had the money to spend, i just didnt feel like buying.
this year's summer is better. i like the time i get to myself. and i dont mind that people disregard me now. it's like i've accepted that i'll always be the misfit no matter how hard i'll try to fit in. in a way, im lucky to have figured this out and gone through all that pain last summer, because i came out with more understanding to people.
to ellen: i've read ur journal online and yah ur gonna get through this and at the end, u'll have a better understanding. the understanding is worth the pain. be strong and carry on and you'll see people in a different light in the end. i know, it's painful as hell, but that's how it goes: with pain comes compassion and understanding. be strong and carry on, and do NOT let comparisons ruin your ambitions. i know you'll get through this.
posted by post_it
the unofficial start of summer. interesting, it's too gloomy to be called summer.
i went to the getty center with my cousin, her b/f, brother and sister. it was fun, since i got to go down to the gardens this time (i went in 8th grade as a field trip and never made it down there). took pictures there, blah blah, all that. if it were up to me, i would have not taken a single picture. i would be too wrapped up in the moment to think about capturing it on film.
went to look at art. my cousin said she would take me there for about two months now. and here it is, the day that i finally go and look at the paintings i've only been looking at in books. im happy that i recognize some paintings i've seen in the books, and some that i've never seem before from Renoir (artist that i've read lots about). in comparison to two years ago, i wasnt as excited as then. i thought i would be more. but the style of the getty didnt really appeal to me any more. i hope it was just the weather that's giving me this idea.
posted by post_it
Sunday, May 18, 2003 song: nat king and natalie cole - unforgetable
another weekend spent. what did i do yesterday? i could barely remember. oh..yah..i went to get one shot, but instead they gave me two and they told me i had to get a third one in six months. it wasnt too bad, but i slept on one of my arms last night. i woke up with pain on that arm =(. went to run errands earlier yesterday and bought some essential things for myself hehe..so that balances out the two shots i got later in the day.
okay, now back to today. spent the morning being bored (should have done some hw..but oh well, i procrastinate). then went out walking just for the heck of it. my last stop was that 99 ranch outlet in sg. it was sunday, so some1 was having a wedding reception in the resturaunt. with the weather like it was (around 6pm or something), iono...it was just so, sad (in the nice movie way) to just sit there and watch. lol..gosh..im really messed up..i think wedding receptions are sad. let's just say i cant think of the right word other than sad for it now.
my mom wants to take us to yellowstone over the summer. that's only a place where she's taking us..i hope, but yellowstone is the major event this year. last year was vegas and the year before was san francisco. this year was suppose to be thailand (i protested), but due to sars...heh..guess it's cancelled.
posted by post_it
Saturday, May 10, 2003 song: carly simon - my romance
woke up at 4:30 today and i couldnt go back to sleep. i tried, but i couldnt. so i sorta had a light and unrestful sleep, but all in all, some more sleep.
got out of bed at 6:30. went to school by 7:35. waited for ppl to arrive and went to pick up some1 else by 8:20. got onto wrong freeways, stopped so raymond can pee and ppl could buy lunch. then got back on freeway. messed with tape recording. nhan laughs a lot. drove for long time, then arrived at beach. at last.
beach: fairly clean, with tar lots of tar particles and cigarette buds. nhan found dead fish and was determined to discect it (eck). got tired. rested on beach. stepped into the water and walked around..thinking. water was cold and clear (beautiful). used rake to draw name in sand. weird thing: i found seaweed that was in the shape of my initials...
lunch came and gone. played mafia. funny. came home. was tired. almost fell asleep in van. was determined not to.
went out after with cousin and her b/f to return some stuff. oye..was okay until i fell asleep in car. it got worse when they started making fun of me (evil!) =/
came home, brother and sister overheard about stuff..and they were making fun of me too (oye)...
posted by post_it
Thursday, May 08, 2003 song: ivy - while we're in love
well, i went to another 4-h meeting today. it was quite productive. now all of us (my group) will have to pitch in to make our project reality. i think my group will be a great group in time; all of us being commited =b.
i didnt eat for the WHOLE day! so i couldnt get through that meeting without food. i jacked gabriel's money (lol...deserves it) and bought myself boba and chips. sure enough..he had a way to get back at me: he took one of my papers which was one of my note to somebody (eh...i give u a clue about the note: footsie). ah! i gave up and let him read it, turns out, he didnt get the first part, which was the most important part!
we did an icebreaker b4 the meeting actually started. each one of us had to write a compliment about some1 else in the club and put in fishbowl to be read out loud. i wrote one to phuong...i was suppose to put: you are very smart and careful. but when some1 read it out...it read: you are very small and careful. LOL! im so sorry. i got two compliments....one about me being hilarious and one about my poetry, which i thought was really swt..hehe.
posted by post_it
Saturday, May 03, 2003 song: 50 cent - 21 questions
i got myself to think about my situation again. guess it's nothing. be happy for me, because im happy for you. -to some1 in which i will not name.
rain is nice in cali. i was in a car for practically the whole time it rained. i got to see downtown la when it's raining. contrary to what i would think, it wasnt depressing to me. it may be dirty and everything down there, but the people arent bitter and mean, unlike the stereotypes may have them.
the rain was crazy though, flooded the streets and made them into rivers.
posted by post_it
Thursday, May 01, 2003 song: air supply - without you
heh. i have a person that looks up to me, which is quite weird. oh well, must not let ppl down =b
i was there for open house today. too many papers to hand out, too less ppl to hand them out to. so what did we do? we gave them to the trash can, some of us. haha, some of us were nice enough to hand them to other ppl to give to the parents and whoever needed it. eh..yes..thank goodness none of the environmental ppl were there, kill some of the ppl who were throwing away these things...oh well, tired and headachey, so me go sleep. 99, wet dreams! lol
posted by post_it
